Horoscopes for October 28, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!   Come down off the high and face reality.  That celebration you’re planning for living through the last year is probably gonna be the highlight of this year.  We’re happy you’re still with us and now that we’ve said that, it’s time to move on.  Get back to work and realize that this is just another day! Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Fried dill pickles will be your downfall. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) The theme from Super Mario Brothers will be stuck in your head all day long.  Don’t you miss the Nintendo.  Things were so much simpler… arrow keys and just two buttons…  nice! Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Feet, not inches, will be the thing for the day.  But not feet as in 12 inches, we’re talking about stinky, crusty, gym sock covered, nasty athlete feet.  YUCK! Aries (March 21 – April 19) Try to make it through the day without texting.  It could change your life for the better. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) An insatiable desire will befall you today.  You will search and search for something to quench it, but won’t be able to find it.  You won’t even be able to define it.  We hope that you find what you seek. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Butterflies, Moonbeams & Fairy Tales will be all that you are able to think about today. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) BREAKING NEWS: Today will be a day.  That is all.  Now… Back to your regularly scheduled suck-fest! Leo (July 23 – August 22) We believe that a toilet seat will fall from the international space station and land where you were planning on having lunch.  Change your routine and go somewhere else. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) You should start blogging.  It would definitely help your stress level if you were able to get all those things off your chest and out into the public. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Grab a snack before you leave for that appointment.  You’re gonna be waiting for a long time. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Stay away from confrontation today.  You will meet your match and will walk away in embarrassment. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Jam.  That’s what you are tasting.  Jam… We’re not sure what flavor it is, but it’s jam.]]]]> ]]>