Horoscopes for October 25, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!   You will be a believer before dawn. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Strange things are afoot. You should look into that. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Nobody will care that you are crying on the inside. The outside is all that matters. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) More and more you are beginning to realize that some crazy person behind some computer, somewhere, is dictating your life to you. Aries (March 21 – April 19) XYZ Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Once upon a time…Oh, nevermind, your life is definitely no fairytale. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) A stranger will offer you candy later this week. Try not to flip out like you did last Halloween. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) When you feel like quitting, remember, Joan wants your desk. That is reason enough to keep your crappy job. Leo (July 23 – August 22) When you think you are finally fed up, you will have just one more bite. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Some people will call it a snafu, but deep down inside, you know it is a complete disaster. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Much like Rodney Dangerfield, you will get no respect. And you know why. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off would actually be an improvement to your productivity. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) When you hear the secret word, scream really loud. What? You don’t know the secret word? We were assured that you would know.]]]]> ]]>