Joke of the Day – November 17, 2011

HERE) It’s amazing he can do more than drool in his chair.   Oh… by the way…  He’s Chris Whittington’s brother (obviously Chris & Johnny got the brains in the family… and the looks, too!) and he’s also the one who pointed out that there was no joke of the day yesterday. This isn’t the normal treatment people get for pointing out mistakes that we make, this is reserved especially for people we love!  The others get our sincerest appreciation for helping to make us better at our jobs! A Limerick for Tim There once was an Asian from Lawton Who’s leg he thought he could walk on He tried and fell down Straight to the ground And broke the phone that he talked on. OR A man in Lawton named Tim Has wits that are very dim With his leg off the cart He ran into a part And made himself more of a gimp! by Chris Whittington (Love ya, bro!) (You know I could do this forever, right?) The ACTUAL Joke of the Day!  (and this is worth the wait!) After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor! Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. (P = the problem logged by the pilot.) (S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.) P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That’s what they’re there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you’re right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.]]]]> ]]>